Wordless Wednesday

Sh*t BA Says: Dumb as a Box of Hammers

 

Does this need explanation?

No.

Do I say it?

ALL THE TIME.

Usually in the “I swear to God, Julia, that son of a bitch is as dumb as a box of hammers. Can we kill him with a rock?"

BTW, the answer to that question is ALWAYS, “Yes, baby."

See also, sharp as a bag of wet mice and lacking two brain cells to rub together to spark off a thought.

Much love, y’all.

BA

Bull Riding 101: Bullropes

 

So, the bull rope. 

Quick and dirty definition:

It’s the rope — nylon or grass — that goes around the bull behind his front legs. It’s what the cowboy holds onto during his (hopefully) eight second ride.

What’s it for:

Well, it hold the cowboy on the back of the bull, at least until his happy ass falls off.

theebullryder.proboards.com

Are there different kinds of bull rope:

God, yes.

An American bull rope is made up 5, 7, or 9 plaits, as a rule (5 is the widest and softest, 9 is the narrowest and hardest). The handholds come in three lace options — half lace, full lace and full/skip lace. (a half lace is soft, a full lace is hard and a full/skip is going to be less hard, but you’re also less likely to get tied up in your riding hand. The tails also come in a 5, 7 or 9 plait. 

When you talk about a bull rope, you have a 9/5 plait — 9 plait rope with a 5 plait tail.

A custom braider can add or subtract plaits to customize things even more.

A Brazilian bull rope pulls from the opposite side of American bull ropes.

Here’s a great video where JW Hart explains the difference TONS better than I can (and you get to listen to him talk): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-W3i6AFPrs

What to know how to tie a bull rope? Check this out: http://sankeyrodeo.com/For_Tying_Your_Bull_Rope.html

Why do we care?

See the Wrangler butt?

Pulling rope is one of the great joys of being a bull riding fan. ;-)

Much love, y’all.

BA

What I'm Working on this Week

Writing, writing, la la la

 

Writing:

Hand Me Down — sequel to Ever the Same 

C. Ranch — 1st in a new series for Dreamspun Desires

Double U — 1st in a new series for Pride Publishing

Spotlight — m/m paranormal

 

In edits/rewrites:

Refired in edits

Midnight Rodeo in edits

Picking Roses in edits

Trial by Fire in edits

Old Town New in rewrites

Brewing in edits

 

At beta:

Coke’s Clown

 

At proofing:

Boys in the Band

And a Smile

Ace and Kitty

 

Subbed:

Trial by Fire to DSP

 

Next week's plan?

ALL THE WORDS!

An Andrew Grey Story

So, normally I tell stories on my family, but Andrew has met both sets of parents, my sisters, one of my brothers, the nieces and he’s participated in a Squires family sing-along, so he qualifies as kin. 

Yeah, y’all can *totally* feel sorry for him. 

Andrew, Julia and I spent 10 days together this spring. We went to a softball game, 2 cons, Dallas, Greenville, Round Rock and Austin. 4 different hotels. Lots of time in Daddy’s truck and he met the horses (I have scars from the chiggers).

I have to tell y’all — I was *so* eager to get back to Austin. I love Austin. I miss it. I was right there.

Then I had J drive by my old house.

There’s a lot of shit that went down there, about 95% of it bad and about 3% of it brutal. 

I started crying.

I cried through the trip to the grocery store. I cried through supper. I cried on a phone call to my moma AND my daddy.

Then I went to give Andrew some Cokes and jellybeans, wherein I burst into tears AGAIN.

Andrew looked at me, hugged me, then said, “Well, going back there was stupid. Never go back. It’s not going to fix anything."

Then he sent me back to my wife with a pat on the back.

I stopped crying.

He’s a good man, Mr. Grey, and I love him dearly and am proud to call him family.

Much love, y’all.

BA

TBT: My Daddy :D

Wordless Wednesday -- The Craft Room

Sh*t BA Says: Standing Around with Your Teeth in Your Mouth

So every single time I use this phrase, I hear an editor say, “What does that mean?"
Standing there with your teeth in your mouth means just sitting and staring instead of doing, well, anything. I’ve heard the phrase 10 million times in my life, usually in this sense: Jesus Christ, child, stop standing there with your teeth in your mouth and get your ass over here and help me!
Also, Goddamnit, stop standing there with your teeth in your mouth and answer the door.
Or, for fuck’s sake, you can either get off your ass and be useful or just sit there with your teeth in your mouth


See also, staring like a goat looks at a new fence and gobsmacked.
Much love, y’all.
BA

Cover Reveal: Rainbow Brew: Brewing

Coming in November from All Romance Ebooks

What I'm Working on this week

Writing, writing, la la la

 

Writing:

Hand Me Down — sequel to Ever the Same 

C. Ranch — 1st in a new series for Dreamspun Desires

Double U — 1st in a new series for Pride Publishing

 

In edits/rewrites:

Refired in edits

Midnight Rodeo in edits

Picking Roses in edits

File Gumbo in edits

Trial by Fire in edits

Old Town New in rewrites

Brewing in edits

 

At beta:

Coke’s Clown

 

At proofing:

Boys in the Band

And a Smile

Ace and Kitty

 

Subbed:

Trial by Fire to DSP

Rainbow Brew: Brewing to ARe

 

Next week's plan?

Same thing we do every week, Pinky..

Somewhere in New Mexico

I’m learning all about life in New Mexico. You see, I’m a Texan. Ask me about weird-assed random Texas facts — state bird? Got it. Name the major players of the Alamo? I can. 8 years of Texas history, y’all. 

Now I’m being educated about a whole new state of being.

For instance, did y’all know that the Palace of the Governors in Santa Fe is the oldest government building in the country?

Source: Palace of the Governors, Facebook

Or that Doc Holliday was a dentist in Las Vegas, New Mexico (also, our Las Vegas is apparently older than the one in Nevada, also, they have a neat KOA)?

Source: Public Domain

I know, neat stuff, huh?

I’m in the middle of chile season (omg, wear gloves when peeling). I have only recently come into the joy that is green chile. Part of me still misses the red, but the wife is a green girl, all the way. 

Hence the green chile pumpkin soup of doom.

;-)

Much love, y’all.

BA

 

 

Throwback Thursday -- My Pappy 1981

Needing to Breathe Blog Tour!!

 

September 14 A Bookaholic’s Fix: Feeding the Addiction

http://Bookaholicfix.wordpress.com

 

September 15 Zipper Rippers

http://zipperrippers.blogspot.co.uk/

 

September 15 Making it Happen (review)

http://moonangel23.blogspot.com

 

September 17 T's Stuff  

http://teresanoel.blogspot.com/

 

September 18 happy tails and tales (review)

http://happytailsandtales.blogspot.com

 

September 21 All I Want and More Books  https://alliwantandmorebooks.wordpress.com/

 

September 22 Erotica For All 

http://eroticaforall.co.uk

 

September 23 Roxanne’s Realm

www.roxannerhoads.com

 

September 24 Fanatical Paranormal Romantical (review)

http://fanaticalparanormalromantical.com/

 

September 25 Fang-tastic Books

www.fang-tasticbooks.blogspot.com

 

September 28 The Creatively Green Write at Home Mom

www.creativelygreen.blogspot.com

 

September 28 Zenny's Awesome Book Reviews

https://zennysawesomebookreviews.wordpress.com/

 

Guest Post: Victoria Blisse

Sexy Vampires Revamped!For the month of September Victoria Blisse is the Special Feature Author at Totally Bound.

She has recently revamped all three of her Point Vamp books and the next in the series will be out on the 22nd September. To celebrate these new editions, all the books have sexy new covers and each book has its own special offer. Until the 30th September you can pick up The Point, the first book of the Point Vamp series completely free of charge from Totally Bound. 

Series Blurb: 

What is The Point?

It is the hottest club in town for both Vampires and humans alike. It has a large dance floor and a bar like any other club but once you disappear behind the VIP only door you find out what makes The Point so unique. Sex, blood and lust all behind closed doors and only accessed by the chosen ones.

Now, you become a chosen one and get to see the sexy world behind that door.

Welcome to The Point.

The Point Blurb:

Love conquers all, that is the point but can it bridge the differences between a vampire and a woman?

Hugh is twenty eight. He has been twenty eight for nearly one hundred years. Hugh is a vampire. He owns a club called The Point and he pays girls to have sex with him. He then counts to ten as he sucks their blood to semi-satisfy his lust.

Elizabeth is a doctor, she loves her job but likes to escape into the countryside now and then. When she twists her ankle Hugh comes to her aid. He carries her curvy form all the way back to his home. He takes care of her ankle and the rest of her body too but he goes too far and sucks her perfectly intoxicating blood.

How can these two lovers have any kind of relationship? They don't know, only time will reveal the answers.

Reader Advisory: This book contains scenes of blood shed.

Publisher's Note: This book has previously been published under the same title by Totally Bound. It has been expanded, revised and re-edited for re-release.

General Release Date: 1st September 2015

Excerpt: 

She gasped. His lips were as icy as his hands, and they were demanding. They undulated and coaxed the kiss from her lips. Her mind spun as her body reacted. She ran her hands ran up and down the front of his body. They skimmed under the heavy material of his jacket then traced his hard torso through the silken material of his shirt.

He pulled away suddenly. She almost fell, but he kept her steady, his hands braced around her waist.

“Now, you need fastening.” He seemed shaken up too. He spoke quickly and his hands shook at her waist as he slipped behind her, sliding his hands around her to keep her steadied.

“Yes, fastening, yes,” she said. She made no sense and realised it, but she could still feel the pressure of his lips against hers and her fingertips tingled. She was completely undone, and she didn’t mean just the corset.

“You should feel a gentle constriction, Elizabeth. If it feels too tight, please tell me.”

She might have been mistaken, but she was sure Hugh’s hands shook as they tweaked and twiddled laces.

The two sides gradually started to shift farther around, and Elizabeth started to feel the constriction. As he pulled tighter, Hugh got closer until he stood behind her with his trouser front pressed into the flesh of her buttocks. She felt him through the thick material of his pants. He was hard, really hard. She pushed back her hips and was rewarded with a strangled, gasping groan. Now, she was sure of it. He was as aroused as she was.

“Right,” he said. His hands rested on her hips. “I think you’re secure now. Stand up straight against me so I can check.” She pushed up and wobbled a little, but Hugh’s hands stopped her from tumbling over. “How does that feel?”

“Okay,” she replied, her voice barely more than a whisper. “Not too tight.”

He ran his hands around her waist, until his hands cupped her breasts through the material.

“Nothing bites or digs in?” His chin rested on her shoulder, and she knew he was looking down into her impressive cleavage.

“No,” she said. Then he pressed his lips to her neck, and she moaned as her leg nearly buckled under her. “It feels remarkably good.”

“That’s good,” he whispered. His lips leant on her flesh as if he were undecided what to do next. “It feels good.” He ran his fingers down her sides and to the very edge of the corset and traced along the border between skin and clothing. She shivered as his touch slipped lower and wondered what he was doing. She wanted to move his hand away, not because she wasn’t enjoying it but because she was afraid that he would be turned off by what he felt. She did nothing to stop him though. She was hypnotised by the gentle kisses on one spot of her exposed neck, and she let him run his fingers over her freely. He explored her hip and thigh. Smoothly, he moved inward, and she knew her flesh was slick as she was aroused to a level she had not experienced before.

He stroked down first. She was disappointed until the upsweep carried his fingers to the very edge of her pussy and his fingers curled and teased her pubic hairs.

Delicately, he pressed in, felt her swollen lips and insinuated his finger between them.

She couldn’t think. She knew that something about this was wrong, very wrong, and she shouldn’t be letting it happen, but as Hugh ran his fingertip over her clit, she forgot everything but the pleasure radiating up through her body. He played her like a professional. He knew just where to touch and how hard. He dipped his finger inside her, scooped up more of her fresh juice and trailed it back up to her clit to aid his exploration. As he rubbed, she moaned, blown away by the eroticism. Her body zinged with sexual pleasure in a way she had never dreamed existed. He was so in tune with what she needed that, within a matter of moments, she was quivering and panting. She was on the brink of the most outstanding orgasm of her life when she wobbled and put down her right foot. The pain exploded, and she yelped.

Pick up your free copy of The Point at Totally Bound now!

 

Green Chile Pumpkin Soup of Doom

 

So, I had a craving for pumpkin soup and it’s green chile season, so I thought… Hey, green chile pumpkin soup!

Great idea!

Yes, well. It tastes amazing, assuming you are like me and have a gut of pure cast iron.

Fabulous.

Wonderful.

OMG, y’all, this stuff is like burning fiery death to rival the hot pickled brussels sprouts or the spicy chickpeas of tears. 

Someone was brave enough to ask for the recipe, and never let it be said I’m unwilling to share the pain, so here goes.

 

GREEN CHILE PUMPKIN SOUP OF DOOM

1, 2, 3, 4 or possibly 5 cans of pureed pumpkin, depending on your tastes and whether or not you want to shit fire for a month.

1 onion, chopped.

Some olive oil. Like a little bit because I’m on the don’t have a stroke diet. If you’re not, use butter. It’s just for the onions.

A dollop of chopped garlic. Again, the amount is going to depend on whether or not you intend to kiss anyone for, oh, a day or a month.

Hatch green chiles, roasted, seeded and chopped. I used 8. 8 is the amount involved to add all the cans of pumpkin in the house (2) and have the wife try it and say, "with enough sour cream you might not die”. YMMV. If you’re not lucky enough to live where green chile is plentiful and they shoot you in the face if you don’t like it, start with 2 cans of the canned stuff.

Salt — if you find yourself crying after the first testing bite, lean over the pot. 

Test often. Unlike me, this bitch gets hotter with time.

A can of evaporated milk. Again, friggin’ don’t have a stroke diet. If I were less scared of blowing an artery, my happy ass would use cream.

Instructions:

Chop your onion and garlic and sweat it in oil, butter, the tears of a dozen angels (your food lube of choice). 

Add pumpkin, chiles and some salt. I like to put this in a Crockpot on low in order to torture the dogs with a yummy smell that they won’t want to actually eat. You can totally do it on the stove.

When you’re close to eating, add the cream/sour cream/evaporated milk according to your heart health.

If you’re my wife, add some more sour cream and a loaf of bread to eat it with, and/or croutons. A crispy crouton would be nice drowning in a lake of fire.

Let me know if anyone’s brave enough to try it!

Much love, y’all!

BA

 

A Weird but True BA Story

So, I have this thing. Every so often I have feeling and I can’t ignore it. 

The night before the World Trade Towers fell, I called the people I loved and said, “don’t go to work tomorrow”. I called my J, my best friends, my folks. “Don’t go to work."

It should tell you something that no one questioned me or went to work that day.

It’s a thing. It’s my thing and, honestly, no one I knew would have been in trouble if they had gone to work that day, but at least I knew they were all home where they belonged.

;-)

Much love, y’all.

BA

Throwback Thursday -- Happy Birthday, Moma!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Birthday, Baby! (Photo from 2000)

The Articles of Release is a Best-Seller!

 Y’all rock my world!

(Is it wrong to just keep looking at this cover and humming?)