Monday, January 18, 2016

The New Normal

Lord Have Mercy

So, I’ve been on chemo for two weeks. 

Yeah, this is a whole new normal if by normal you mean, OMGWHATTHEOVERLOVINGFUCKISTHIS?


New normal. That’s going to be my motto. Can’t chew apples? New normal. Black pepper makes me gag? New normal. 

I have always thought I was tired as all get out. You know, someone would ask how I was and I’d say, “Tired, but fine."


Tired but fine can sit up at a desk. Tired but fine can get a drink or watch a television show from beginning to end. Tired but fine can get dressed.

The day after chemo? No. 

Just no.

Like totally, do not call or talk to me or ask me to function or breathe or move out of the bed on Wednesdays. There are no discussions, no phone calls, no coherent sentences or sitting upright or...

Okay, honestly y'all? Wednesdays I don’t eat — partially because CHEMO, but mostly because I don’t want to have to manage walking to the bathroom. New normal

Yeah, that’s me. Classy as fuck. Sue me. So far the number of classy moments with chemo equal zero. 

Much love, y’all.


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